Saturday, October 10, 2009

Response to the best complaint letter READ PRIOR POST FIRST!!

T'was the 7th of December and all through the office
not a person was shirking not even the bosses.
The papers were piled up on the desks with care
in hopes that filing soon would be there.
The workers all toiled at their various stations
while dreaming of dancing, raises, vacations.
Mr Ross with his pen, and I with my pad,
had just finished letters. No, none were bad.

When out in the front, there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my chair to see what was the matter.
Away to the portal I flew in a flash,
threw open the door, my foot I did gash.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
but a letter of complaint, Oh Dear, NOT HERE!
The nasty old letter, so detailed, so thick,
I knew in an instant, it wasn't a trick.

More rapid than eagles, Mr Ross did come,
as he turned and shouted and called us all dumb.
"Now Stupid! Now, Slow! Now Lazy and Mopey!
On Dunce! On Stooge! On Bonehead and Dopey!
Find the culprit, I want him to fall!
Now dash away, dash away, dash away all!

As quivering idiots flew every which way,
we all went a hunting the one who must pay.
Calls to Taiwan, faxes back to Dallas,
find the one wishing dear Katie malice.
The demon is hiding, we can't make him pay.
Hang him at dawn,....No....No right away.

Satisfy the customer. We must make amends,
make him happy, before this day ends.
Your letter is read once, twice and again,
a lawsuit is threatened, but no in the end.
The fever abated, a lamp, we should send.
We'll send him a lamp, her fishy will play,
Oh please, let this make the complaint go away.
On this, we decided this is what we should do,
instead of wishing the culprit the flu.

We ran to the warehouse to find us a light.
Oh, please let us find one, fore day turns to night.
Running around, yelling out orders.
Find me the light for Dave's little daughter.
"Box it all up, make it all pretty."
"Send it to him, whose letter is witty."
"Say that we're sorry and beg his forgiveness"
"Never happen again, as God is my witness."
"Throw in some extras, and label the box"
"Get UPS here before 5 o clock"

As I drew my head and was turning around,
down the drive UPS came with a bound.
He was dressed all in brown from his head to his foot,
And in his hand he held out the book.
A bundle of packages he had flung on his back,
And he said, "Hey, just sign here Mack"

His eyes how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry,
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard on his chin was as white as the snow.
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.

He had a broad face, and a little round belly
that shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.
He was chubby and plump-a right jolly old elf-
and I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word but went right to his work,
loading the packages, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose
and giving a nod, he stepped on my toes.

He sprang to his truck, at a girl he did whistle,
and away went the lamp, like the down of a thistle.
Bur he head us exclaim as he drove out of sight:


No comments: